“Who am I?” never ends
the practice never ends
the self-discipline, sacrifice, maintenance, creation, destruction
the doing
the being
the longing for Om never goes away
the desire for the end of pain (so unrealistic);
the end only lasts for a while
Can I let go of the desire for the end of the pain and craving, a final state of peace and bliss?
My mind plays tricks —
it’s always convinced that the next achievement or experience or possession will yield “the goal” or the “final state” or Truth. I am thankful for being aware of it and its lies, even as I am often powerless to stop being deluded by it and acting on its desires and fears.
And I conclude that I can’t know the true essence of a thing or person (even, and often especially, myself) through the senses or the intellect. This is the truth that I attempt and this is where I fail.