And so I notice a recurring thought and feeling that once I fulfill the desire to be beautiful, or humble, or be the one who endures the pain of sacrifice, or be the one who masters my habits, and/or bodies in such a way as to achieve “perfection” that I will achieve a “final” state where I no longer desire things or experience hunger or physical discomfort or addiction, free from the needs of food, shelter, money, karma, protection, emotions of anger, fear, shame, etc. Free from enemies and people not liking me for something that I have done.